DUDES WITH ATTITUDE

Kids grow up so fast. One minute you have a toddler, and the next thing you know he’s a preschooler with a big attitude problem. Your preschooler may appear to have left tantrums behind, but he still sees situations in black and white so life sometimes strikes him as unfair. Even though he’s getting older, he still thinks they world revolves around him and may display anger or frustration if he has to wait or compete for your attention. Tantrums at this stage are cleverly disguised. Your child may whinge or shout out his demands, and storm off to sulk if these aren’t met. Then again, he may resort back to a tantrum-like rage or discover the power of name-calling or answering back.

• Be consistent and don’t give up!     
• Calmly show him know that his behaviour is unacceptable by removing him from the situation or depriving him of his audience      
• Don’t take it personally      
• Respond immediately

DITCHING THE DUMMY

I’m often asked how to wean a preschooler off his dummy and always offer the routine I used on my two kids – both of whom were dummy dependent until the age of three! I pre-empted the end of daytime dummies by saying that soon the child would only be able to have a dummy at naptime or bedtime. You then need to be strong and stick to your new rule. (Don’t worry, the whinging stops sooner than you would think.) A few weeks later I pre-empted the end of dummies altogether by saying it was nearly time to give the dummies away to a new baby who really needed them. I found that both of my children flatly refused this suggestion at first. However, the more we spoke about it, the more they warmed to the idea of wrapping up their dummies and giving them away to a new little cousin or family friend’s baby. The final clincher was the obligatory shopping trip to buy a bedtime toy to substitute for the dummy. Or else you could just throw the dummy in the bin and put up with the howling for a couple of weeks until your child forgets all about it. Both methods will work if you stick to your guns.

 SIBLING RIVALRY

Fights and bickering among siblings are a normal part of growing up in a family, even if it does turn parents into the screaming authoritarians we once swore we would never become! Healthy competition is important for your child’s development, but when this frequently escalates into World War III you may feel the need to put peacekeeping measures in place

• Avoid known triggers   
• Avoid making comparisons between your children 
• Establish rules and stick to them.      
• Give each child attention and let them know they are loved      
• I find that removing myself from the scene is often the fastest way to separate my two warriors from a tangle. When they come charging up to me looking for justice, I have been known to smile sweetly and say, “I’m sorry my darlings I didn’t see your fight, so sort it out yourselves or forget about it.” And guess what? They usually do.      
• Offer them separate areas for quiet time, as well as time to play together      
• Practice sharing and taking turns      
• Praise your children for playing together happily

BEDWETTING

The common medical consensus on bedwetting in preschoolers is that it tends to be more of a problem for the parents, and is rarely caused by a medical problem. According to the Continence Foundation of Australia it’s considered normal for children to occasionally be wet at night (and in the daytime) until the age of five. Their general advice is to seek professional help if your child:

• asks for help with the problem
• is restricted socially (i.e. won’t go on sleepovers or school camps)  
• is still wetting the bed after the age of seven or eight      
• is upset, angry or frustrated at their bedwetting      
• was dry at night for a while but has suddenly begun to wet again

In the meantime, remember to praise success, ignore accidents and never punish a child for having wet their bed. Most children do eventually stop wetting their bed without having treatment. 

MARA LEE was the editor of Australia’s favourite parenting magazine, Practical Parenting and author of Baby’s First Year for Dummies and Staying Mum (both published by John Wiley & Sons). Mara is also the typically harassed but deliriously happy Mum of two young chidren, Jayna and Cooper.